is a rollercoaster
full of up up ups
and down down downs
it can be monthly
weekly
daily
hourly
minutely
sometimes i can be so unbelievably content
knowing what i'm doing
where i'm going
and the people who will be there with me
then a little thing
like a name
puts a swoop in my stomach
and makes me question...
everything
then i push it out of my mind
there is no room for doubt there
no time to reminisce
because that isn't moving forward
i need to grow
to learn
to appreciate
and that's what i'm trying to do
to be a better person
a better person for him.
whoever he may be.
but also for me.
mostly for me.
i need to love myself
and love everything i do
before i can love anyone else.
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