So it was general conference weekend, and it was, just in one word "Wow." I was incredibly impressed with this time. I don't know why it hit me so hard this time, maybe its just because I was so... in need of a spiritual pick-me-up. It got over with just a few hours ago, but I knew I wanted to write a few thoughts about things I heard in conference. I loved how things started off yesterday morning, Saturday sessions are seriously some of my favorite, now that I actually try to pay attention to them. But the one that stood out the most to me this time around was the Sunday afternoon one. Most specifically Elder Scott's and Elder Christofferson's talks.
I was in the car with my sisters and my dad while coming back from my grandparents hosue during the start of Elder Scott's talk, but luckily everyone was quiet enough I could still hear it on the radio. And while he was talking, I just couldn't help but tear up. He was talking about marriage, and how there are so many people out there, men and women, who need to "get with it" and get married. I can't lie, there was a certain someone I was thinking of when this go brought up, and I kinda wondered if he thought about me too... But that is besides the point. Elder Scott then started talking about his wife, and the way he spoke of her so highly, he choked up with emotion as he talked of her kindness, her selflessness, her service. He was is still so in love with her, even with her gone. She was a woman. He had such a beautiful way of describing the way she embraced her woman-hood, righteously. I'll have to put it up when they have the talks written online, because it was so eloquent, I know I can't say it correctly.
But the point is, that is who I want to be. More than anything in the world. I want my future spouse to be able to speak of me with such love and admiration. He loved and respected her, she was his equal, his companion, his example at times. She was a true woman. And it just made me think, that I am still just such a girl. I have so much growing to do before I feel like I can live up to that title. Especially to live up to the title of a "woman from the church". There were talks about how incredible the women of the church are, and I just feel like I don't quite live up to that either, not yet at any rate. I still am far too selfish, I have a really hard time asking for help, I don't like depending on people because I like to do things myself, and I still make stupid decisions. A woman doesn't do those things, she can be a good companion and asks for help, she can depend on her man, and she is selfless. That is who I want to be, so that is who I will strive to be. Someone who just radiates the essence of a woman of the church.
Which brings me to the next talk that came up that really touched me. Elder Christofferson was up next. He spoke of the Atonement, and how we need to be able to be corrected and chastised by Heavenly Father because that is how we will be able to grow and develop into the people He wants us to be. This just seemed to go hand in hand with my thoughts of how I am still such a girl and want to be a woman. I was chastised, there are a lot of things I need to fix, and I am so grateful that these two men could have such great talks that inspire me to make those changes that I need to make to be the woman I want to become.
Conference was just so incredible. I can't even truly explain how heart-lifting this was. I so desperately needed to hear some of these talks, and I am so grateful that I was ready and willing to listen. And I am even more grateful for the priesthood leadership in this church, and the ability they have to be mouthpieces of the Lord. So armed with the words and the feelings I gained today, I feel confident in my striving to be who I want to be. I feel confident that I can change from being this silly girl, to a beautiful woman.
here i am. this is me. these are my thoughts. this is like my own personal internet diary- but only kinda. its mostly just things i struggle with and think about a lot and etc. think of it what you will.