Saturday, May 15, 2010

life is soo good :) really really really truly, i haven't been this happy about life for a long long long long time. i don't even remember the last time i have been this happy! It just seems like everything is going right, even when its not, it just SEEMS like everything is going along just fine and dandy. i honestly can't complain about life.

i have a great job that pays the bills, and the people there love and care about me (i mean mostly the residents, haha. like the ones who say i'm their adopted granddaughter, and who tell me i do such a good job and that i deserve a raise.) i love working with my residents! they make me so happy. even just thinking about them makes my heart lighter and happier. yeah i will admit that sometimes my job is demanding and it makes me wanna pull my hair out, but its MINE. sometimes i feel very possesive of my nursing home, and seriously question some of the people that get hired, because i don't want them working with MY sweet residents. they don't know how they like their coffee! they don't know which order to dress them in. they don't know how many tissues they like to take to meals. i know its my job to train them, but sometimes i lose my patience, and feel irritated for really no reason. i guess its just because i know how to do my job now. i'm totally and fully confident at it, i know what to do, what to say, how to handle new residents, how to handle accidents and disasters, i own my job. and i won't deny, i feel a lot of pride at the fact that i can do my job, but not only can i DO it, but i can do it WELL. i feel like i have a special place there for me. and people miss me, and they like it when i'm their aide, and their face lights up when i walk in the room. it warms my heart <3

my callings are amazing!! they keep me way busy, with all the meetings of committees, presidencies, and what not, but i think that its keeping me close to the Lord, and for that, i find the time spent doing callings completely invaluable. plus with the fact that norma gave me and kelli a really good talking to about how since we are in the presidency, we are an example to the rest of the women/girls in the ward. which means we have to be the people we preach we should be. we need to be the ones at the activities, always take the sacrament, be spiritual leaders, and don't do anything we don't want the others to do. so i've really taken that to heart, i really have been trying to live like i'm an example to others. and i really think that it's improved my life. i'm so grateful for my callings. they keep me social, grounded, and closer to God. it really doesn't get much better. despite the fact that i still feel inadequete as a leader, i still feel as though there are so many other better qualified girls in the ward. but i will try my best. and thats all i can do for now :)

so i just watched one of the most amazing movies i've ever seen. no lie. i really really really enjoyed it. i rented "slumdog millionaire" and have now watched it twice. yes, i think it really is that good. i mean its a horribly sad story, but its an amazing story as well. and i cannot tell you how grateful it has made me for the life i have lived. you know, its one of those movies that makes you wonder how you ever had any right at all to complain about the life you've had. i mean here is a story about kids that grew up in a landfill pretty much, who are constantly being hunted down by the most evil men i've ever seen, and somehow are able to make things right by the end. its a heartwrenching story. and i loved it. despite how sad it was. it was terribly clever, and it truly is about real life occurances. you know, the ones that you push to the back of your mind, because they are too horrific to comprehend. i think it was an amazing social realism piece. showing you the darker side of life.

i only wish there was something i could do you know? but how can i help from so far away? i just don't know. i feel sad thinking about children like the ones in the movie. how they were just left to fend for themselves. i know this happens all over the world, and i can't even imagine what life would be like if i had to survive like they did. its incredible what people are able to do in desperate circumstances, but still, i doubt i would have the brains or the brawn to do it, and i'm sure there are children like me who don't make it. and that breaks my heart. if only we could take care of all the children on the earth, if only if only. i suppose i can only hope that the tithing i give to the church somehow helps these children in someway or another. that, and i can pray for them.

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