Tuesday, May 19, 2009

ready... or not?

so... i'm graduating. this is supposed to be HUGE. the moment i've waited for my entire childhood life. i mean honestly i remember sitting as a 6th grader going "OH MY GOSH i still have SIX more years left!" I never thought that this moment would come so fast. and yet it is right on top of us! in approximately 10 days i walk. i recieve my diploma and i'm done. done with high school for FOREVER. wow. i can't even wrap my mind around that. its like i'm not even excited for it, because it doesn't even seem real. AT ALL. i don't feel old. i don't feel ready to face the world. i'm NOT READY. i guess thats it plain and simple. i feel like i missed out somehow- like some people go on saying how much they HATE high school. and honestly- i don't think i hate it. i love school actually. i really like to learn. i hate certain classes yes, but school in general, no. i mean i feel like i missed out on something here. perhaps its the school, and my graduating class here. i don't feel apart of it really. it doesn't feel like its MINE. but neither does my other high school. nothing belongs to me. i feel in limbo in a way. but i do know that i have my friends- friends from both schools who are mine. they're the people i love and will miss. they're the ones that make me feel at home- regardless of where i am. as long as my friends are around- I AM HOME. i dunno... so i'm just trying to go out with my head held high. knowing i conquered something that has held many life lessons and memories for me, and something that will go with me throughout all my life.

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