Tuesday, June 23, 2009


now i'm an adult. i am the big 1-8. and i am all graduated. and it seems like the world has been thrown upon my shoulders. suddenly i have to worry, suddenly i have to start thinking even further into the future. its intimidating! singles ward, checking accounts, apartment leases, my own cell phone. remind me why its amazing to be old again? remind me why i want to pay for everything myself and desperately search for a job to be able to afford it all?
being old is overrated.
i feel so inadequete.
like i won't be able to do this all for long. can i quit being old? can i go back to the days when i was cinderella and my daddy was prince charming? or how about the days when i played with my sisters day in and day out? i think that i cannot. no matter how much i feel that i still belong in those days of safety and security.
sigh. continue onward i suppose. thats all i can do. and i will do it, not without fear, but onwards all the same. because this is also a thrill. to be on my own, to do exactly what i want! the possibilities are limitless! but at what cost? the cost of growing up.

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